Resolution #1

Recovery mode and the desire to do better prevails. Where these gale force winds of sadness come from are still a mystery to me. I am relieved, intensely so that Christmas is over. I do feel sorely lacking where the holidays are concerned. James and I can provide the little luxuries, the food stuffs and well lit fires to warm their souls- but as transplants to the east coast the one ingredient lacking is family to surround us at certain times of year. I know this is a need that my children crave. En route to our distraction of Christmas day, we pass the houses with cars assembled and glimpse the silhouettes of people floating by the windows. There is a silent acknowledgment that somehow, we are without that nucleus that others' have of a tight circle of family and friends. Feelings of inadequacy come easily as a parent and I'm tired of all the less than moments that haunt me. Here's to succeeding at reaching out in love and friendship to create the sense of community that as humans we all desire.