Update and Anxiety

I've stopped contributing much of anything here except to notice if anyone is looking, reading. Given that this entity exists in the virtual realm with neither paywalls or advertising, whatever I thought in the beginning, whatever I thought might or might not happen in doing it, I realized somewhere along the way that I didn't necessarily know why I was combining words with pictures, at times on a regular basis about my life. (Author's note: With this addition, I have posted 948 times.) 

What I was watching, what I was reading, places, entertainments, exhibits I made my way to, what lovely or dark moment transpired in the familial realm. I guess I felt some urgency to put it down in the world of x's, o's and pixels. So much has happened in the years since I began in 2010. My three kids grown and flown, where once every one of their habits and behaviors seemed subject matter for parental concern, now I get mostly breezy text exchanges that require few syllables. I'm okay (well not totally) with that. I'm glad that we are all so independent and cherish that I can keep myself upright mostly on my own steam. Self reliance isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Lately I'm looking for grace in every corner and forgiving others and myself as much as possible. I dread the upcoming election and the ugly words propelled by the orange haired man and his minions. My fervent hope is that Kamala and the Dems win big. That's all that seems to matter right now.

Purpose and Purposelessness

(please note I wrote this post in 2013 and left it in draft until today. My father took the photo of my gloved hands many years ago at my direction. Thanks Dad!)

I'm trying to overlook how boring most photographs are even as each gleams (or not) in its fashion.  There are too many images out there, and if they are not derivative or repetitive then the alternative is that they are often intent on being quirky and odd or descriptive of events extreme to which we bear witness from the security of our insular lives.

I like looking at author less images- the planets, taken from satellites, or from a microscope, or snapshots that someone threw in a drawer and forgot about for years and years. It's too much sometimes- this global relentless universe of picture making and even poignant images can sometimes bore me to tears. I  can't stop wrestling with the endless commodification of life through photography and all that entails.

Sometimes I wonder

 

Sometimes in checking the visit stats (above is for the past 24 hours to this blog) I'll wonder who is looking or reading or clicking through and given that I do no marketing for this effort, how did they find me? Is it random google searches (Sleepy Hollow, curb appeal...) that have brought these visitors to me? Since I commenced in 2010, the life and travels of content, free of a pay wall in the digital sphere, are constant sources of curiosity and amazement. 

And if you find yourself a visitor and willing to share in comments who you are, where you are from and how you found me I would be delighted. 

The Empty Nester is Adjusting

I'm in my first year living on my own- month 7 to be exact- and the solitude is a big adjustment after the decades of family life. Divorce absolutely rearranges the deck chairs and holidays and family events are different with my ex no longer a part of the picture. With the kids launched, everything is fluid and I'm more susceptible than I care to admit to look back rather than anticipate what lays ahead. 

25

 

My youngest turns 25 today and I am in a state of nostalgic time travel. Lucky me. I got to be his mother- to spend those tender years together and watch him grow and thrive while nurturing him the best I could. Nothing in life for me has compared to the journey of this complex relationship we call parenthood. Very grateful for the three young adults who are my kids and ever amazed at how life rushes by no matter how much you long for things to last forever.