Happy Birthday to Me

You can't help but think about your life and all the events that make you "you" on your birthday and this year was no exception. My middle daughter opted to go out and about with me and we made our way to a tasteful launch party in Norwalk, Connecticut for a beautiful terrace covering called Renson. Very elegant!
Sarah and I wandered the home furnishings store, Lillian August, who sponsored the event, admiring as we strolled. It was fun to photograph my girl in such luxurious surroundings and snap away. Thankful for the many pleasures that life allows as a new year (for me) begins.

Pivoting and Parenthood

This week saw a first for me in a new category. The first back to school day in my district in 18 years that I didn't have a kid who required some organizational help to get out the door on an early September morning after the long hiatus of summer vacation. There were no forms to fill out, no dashes to Staples or new apparel purchased, along with the melancholy and excitement that always attended Labor Day weekend.

I am wistful for all that once was and is no longer, like every other parent alive and leaning in to what requires my attention now.  Life shifts and the nest reassembles. Nostalgia comes easily today.


(As schedules would have it, my middle child is is starting back her college classes locally, so I do have back to schooler after all.)

Hard and harder

I am by no means at "the hardest" these days. But things are hard. Feel hard. Very confusing. Very painful for me. I feel like an imposter on my job. This is an activity that helps to occupy me from obsessing over the end of an unraveling marriage. 

So, the pressure is on me. Keep life organized. Keep the household rolling along, food in the cupboards, bills paid. Lights on. Keep a semblance of normal and remind our kids that there is an adult in charge even if she  tears up easily in private and watches tv more hours than is recommended alone on the couch by herself at night. Even if she dozes off and brushes herself and turns herself in.

Lots of pushing ahead alone despite feeling nutty all the time. I try to remind myself that I tried until it didn't make sense any more. I got my youngest off to college and filed for divorce when family court no longer had any jurisdiction.  I kept my head down the best I was able to take care of my them and I waited for the day to arrive that I could hire a lawyer and say enough is enough.

My ex offered no resistance. It was as if it was up to me. Call his bluff or stay in our sad marital orbit.
Thank goodness I still have some measure of game and chose my happiness.

Delivery- a love story

I am returned from taking my son to start college, having organized all the many required items and then helping to get him situated. Arriving, we were greeted by clusters of dazed families with their freshly minted freshman leading the way. Unloading our boxes, plump suitcases and shopping bags, we were relieved to find a crew of friendly student volunteers who dispatched your cargo to your room effortlessly. My son was quickly situated in his dorm and we were headed out to find the few remaining items we overlooked. The local Walmart was abuzz with parents and their poised offspring loading up carts and wandering the aisles.

Driving up my son chose his favorite activity when stuck with mom in the car, he dozed, thereby avoiding the need for any active exchange. Behind the wheel I contemplated his sleeping form with excitement for him and melancholy for me. I'm not going to pretend that this hasn't been a tough year, yet my son has mustered his determination to succeed and I couldn't be prouder.

(for an earlier Delivery- a love story click here)

Happy Occasions Are Best of All

There isn't much that's nicer than bearing witness to happy events. Over the weekend I stopped by my friends Elizabeth and Lee and their kids at their house in the country. Their twin son and daughter are heading off to college imminently and everyone was excited by the possibilities of what this new chapter holds. 

The light off the water was bright and sparkling and their sweet smiling arrangements made it easy to take their portrait on such a lovely day!