For years I had an urgency to be a parent. I was busy and productive and living on my own, in and out of relationships maintaining my independence pretty well. But when my friends began to sport offspring I felt a tormented desire to feel the flesh of my flesh, nestled in my lap and leaving their cookie crumbs all over me while prattling on. It's true that I rarely imagined my progeny as teenagers, but more the fleeting interval of childhood that required my fierce engagement.
We're over that hurdle alas, my kids see me to the varying degrees to which they require, which can be remarkably minimal these days given their respective young adult ages. All as it should be, and most of the time I'm good with that. There's other needs that occupy me and I have plenty of interests above my acute interest in my offspring.
I'm a motherless mother having lost my mom over 20 years ago. On this day I thank her in my thoughts and wonder what she would have made of everything that happened. Perhaps she's seen some of it from some place beyond and is secretly pleased with a decent measure of wincing thrown in. I'm glad motherhood found me and opportunity knocked. It's presented a level of connection that I didn't know existed and made me, I hope, a better person.
No comments:
Post a Comment