Even though my kids at 19, 16 and 14 have yet to reach adulthood- everything about mothering has changed. I must have done a reasonably good job- because they are independently minded. They seek my help, the comfort of me, they need things, they create havoc from time to time- but mostly they are on their way. As their mother, it is my job now to find the self I tucked away. The self that let itself get absorbed in them- their well being, their safety, their becoming who they are destined to become. I know it is time to immerse myself in something beyond. Make a contribution. Lift the world in which I live. I am restless minding the hearth. There are better things for me to do. As I observe the twilight's glow on the blooms in the yard I am reminded of how temporary every state is, and how ineffable life can be.