I am someone who was born anxious. While cultivating a calm outward demeanor, I am often raging with uncertainty inside. It's in my dna for sure. I can worry about things large and small. Will the current famine in Africa ever end? Will the recently planted perennials come back? Will my husband's day go all right? Will my son get on the soccer team? Will my daughters more than pass their mid-terms? Will the roofer do a good job fixing the roof? Will the President figure out how to get along with Congess? And so it goes- day in and day out. In my earlier life, as a professional photographer working in New York City where you committed all your work to film and didn't see your results for hours or days- well, that was a bonus land for worrying. Will the lab ruin my film? Will my shots look okay? Will the client be pleased? Will they file Chapter 11 before I get paid? Will I get paid? Oh yes, photography back then was a dream profession for someone who is predisposed to agita. Combine that with marriage, three pregnancies, buying a house- it all makes for a bonus land for the anxiety inclined. I have gotten very philosophic over the years as most things have mostly worked out. I actively cultivate things that make me feel calm, like caring for others, gardening, cooking, creating and contributing. But on a bad day, when I can't muster the outlook to focus on feeling positive, well- it's a hey day for my worrying nature. Best not to go there.
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