Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Looking back

Hardest year ever. After putting things in perspective, I must re-frame. Compared to the awful events that transpired in 2017, my problems are snafus of personal difficulty I will ultimately resolve or not. My three offspring are all able bodied, with some means (if only part time) of employment, can prepare food, use a car legally, understand the limits of a credit card and how to behave when a true authority figure crosses their path. One could say that while I am still their financial rock, they are on their way to adulthood and my job is winding down. Yet with two kids currently at home and only one vehicle, we are bound by necessity to coordinate our daily activities.  Our biggest source of mutual concern- other than food and when are you shopping next- is the car's availability.

During the throes of marital demise, you imagine the day when you feel less pain. Seated across a table in the county courthouse aside our respective attorneys was a surreal send up of whatever forces drew us together all those years ago. The person with whom you once shared your life is now your greatest adversary. 

There are lots of residual hurts. Emotional hurts, financial woes, and house problems that all need attention. After my ex's departure, I spent the year taming the chaos and shaping the landscape anew. Now the next set of tasks jump out at me. Fix me. Paint me. Restore me. Listen to me.

I'm allowed right? To be dismayed as I remind myself to feel lucky because we were both in agreement that we go our separate ways. If lucky is the word for it.

Well suited we were not as neglect became our management style. Not a happy state of affairs no matter how you spin it. Back to my studies then as I have a lot to learn.
Wish me luck.

1 comment:

  1. HI, My friend, I found your blog on Google, looking for ideas to see how this blog thing works. And I found you, I read couple of your writings...It is interesting to follow stories. I read about your husband and you. Each story is different, the only think that is the same is that all we are humans. I have 6 sisters 3 of them divorced, 1 married and me single, the older and single, well single mom. Happy single mom. With a daughter. In my family we are 5 sisters and one girl adopted. 2 brothers and 1 man adopted a total of 9, from this family only 2 keep their marriages and adapt themselves to life with a partner. They are not the perfect couples, but there are happy on their own way. My divorces sisters are in different relationships and they are happy. I don't know what happened in your marriage is your story, but I just want to tell you that situations happen for a reason. You are not alone. You have your kids, your body, your brain, your knowledge to succeed. To get whatever you want in life, maybe another man, another car, another job, another life. Don't be afraid and think that you can do whatever with a plan just believe. probably you will say..." yeah.yeah..you don't know"..yes I don't know. Im out of the picture. but I really want you to know that all is posible. I never married, don't believe in a contract, and yes I went through so many things, when I was at that low level, I respectfully compare myself with those that dont even have memory. Hey, I have all! blessing to you and your family!