What if, at any point, you could begin anew? Let history stay in the past. Let prior events dissolve in to meaninglessness. The blank slate of the freshly minted. (But with a little residual wisdom.- this is my fantasy after all.) You'd get a free pass on the unresolved pain and confusion- and only the good would survive. All the hardship then, would push out so far in to the edges that the pillow that holds your head at night would yield nothing but the promise of what lays ahead. Something to imagine, if nothing else, when having something better to imagine seems like the greatest prospect of all.