I was thinking about resolutions. Make them. Not make them. Disregard the calender altogether.
Imagining goals and ways to implement the next chapter. Looking back, I see how my life was driven by the necessities of desire- get an education, establish a career, find a life partner, make a home, have children, raise them, and then? We are still on the parental curve. No longer worried if a stray pin will be the undoing of a toddler, now it's more eyeing their behaviors, associations and activities and hoping they are on a path that will sustain them well. And what's next for this mom? We have to get them educated and of course college remains the expensive hurdle that looms in the future. But what are my next set of moves? Sometimes, the not knowing makes my head hurt. I can contribute, volunteer, dedicate and all the good that remains in being useful. Yet if I am true to myself, I do have burning ambitions of my own. I see a future that is freer from all the obligations of the past, and while I am no longer a kid, I have the goals of one. Therein, as they say, lies the rub.
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