Monday, June 6, 2011

Better Late than Never

I was at a community event yesterday and the hostess asked me to take a photo. My camera had no power (thanks kids!) and a guest offered up a digital camera that was, to put it politely, inexpensive 10 years ago. No matter who shot this camera, it was going to take a lousy picture. I declined and the next thing I know she is screaming at me and telling me "you are the least gracious person I know!" and "get off my property right now!!". (I should give a little history now, as this person and I have crossed swords in the past and barely spoke for years.) So, the problem becomes- why can't I say no? People say no to me all the time- that is their right. But, if I say no- it can drive some people crazy. It's more than not complying- now I am a bad person. My childhood reels back where my whole sense of self hinged on feeling loved. Disappointing anybody made me very anxious. Look, my purpose on this planet is not to make everyone alive happy. I'm here to live my life and sometimes I am going to do things that other people don't like. At the end of the day, it's not about how much conflict I managed to avoid. It's about how true I am to what I think is right for me.
It only took 58 years to arrive at this point and I'm sorry for all the years that other peoples' expectations held supreme over my own.


“Accept everything about yourself – I mean everything, you are you and that is the beginning and the end - no apologies, no regrets”. Henry A. Kissinger

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